Tuesday, October 23, 2012

50 Shades... - m4w - 48 (Lebanon [Your Bedroom])

That's right. He's located in your bedroom. Perhaps under your bed, or hiding behind the door.

This is also a limited time offer and is warrantied! 

 
Kilted Massage Man says: "You've read the book, maybe even the whole series. . . probably worn out a whole 20-pack of batteries in your vibrator over it (Oh yea! How'd you know? Women everywhere have abandoned all responsibilities to lock themselves up with their book and vibrating friend. mmm hmm). . . but have you ever experienced it first-hand? Ever wondered what it's like to taken by a Natural Dominate? Or, maybe, you have and wish to experience it again.

(If so, you're in luck. Because Kilted Massage Man is here to help you!)

Well, let me tell you a little bit about me and see if you like what you're reading: I am 5'11"; I have green eyes; about 210#; and I learned long ago that most men are small enough to fit into pants. So, I threw mine away and have worn a Kilt ever since, and I don't take any grief over that fact! LOL (He wears a kilt.) I am the type that is extremely self-confident and tends to be a "commanding presence" when entering a room, but then this should be obvious since I wear a Kilt, man-length-hair (Man length hair, you say?), not cropped short like a little boy, and am confident enough in it all to show that deserve said "commanding presence." (Basically, he is too full of himself to realize he looks like an idiot.)

I am very talented with my hands, and nothing compares to a great rub-down of an Erotic, Sensual, or Tantric Massage, they don't call me The Kilted Massage Man for nothing! (Oh good! That would be strange if people called you that for nothing.) So, can you think of a better way both feel relaxed and aroused at the same time? Because you will be so aroused, we can then follow it up with a good old-fashioned sweaty-sex session to make our "workout" complete. That's what it's like to have powerful, confident hands on your body (That is what it's like.... In case you were wondering.). I am DDF, don't smoke (even the 420 stuff), drink only the occasional Adult Beverage, and I have only one slight drawback: I'm not "baby-proof" so you need to be (His baby making juice is potent. The world doesn't need a Kilted Massage kid running around. Nuh uh.).

One last thing, before I am accused of being too long-winded, I do enjoy dining at the "Y" whenever the opportunity comes up and I'm talented enough in this that you will experience one or more serious O's, I know this will not be a problem for you.

Hurry, limited time offer; operators are standing by; not applicable in all locations; some restrictions apply; see dealer for warranty information; actual model has some accessories; not responsible for excessive orgasms; taxes and shipping not included; see owners manual for complete operating instructions; only one in-stock at this price; climax may leave user short-of-breath; actual mileage may vary; coverage not available in all areas; while user may scream "OMG! OMG! OMG!" at climax time, this is not necessarily warranted as a religious experience; your results may vary.

If you are not laughing or at least smiling then perhaps you should NOT hit the reply button (Okay.), as I do have a sense of humor, and like to associate with humans who have one also (Besides humans, who are you associating with?). You could say that my attitude is best summed up by a delightful lady I recently spent an afternoon with, she looked at me and said, "You like to fuck, but you don't like to be fucked with!" (She must have been very bright and witty.) It's true, so I treat others the same way, I will fuck you, but I won't fuck with you, I will leave the latter to the creeps out there, and there are plenty of them! Fortunately, I'm not one of them and I don't have any nasty habits or addictions.

So, if you are real, and want real in return, show me you are real by following instructions, like putting what your bra-size is (if you wear one) in the subject line. Anything else will not even be read.

What are you waiting for? It's not going to lick itself. . . (No, thankfully it won't. That would be even weirder than you being located in our bedroom.)"
  
Additionally, he has included this lovely photograph for illustrative purposes. Ya know, in case you were not 100% convinced of his douchebag status by the description alone.

 

What goes wrong in your life that you end up being Kilted Massage Man? There had to be a wrong turn in there somewhere.   

Kilted Massage Man's ad was submitted by a reader. 
Thank you! Reader submissions are always appreciated. If you would like to see an ad featured on Studs of Craigslist, send an email to studsofcl@gmail.com 
 
http://corvallis.craigslist.org/cas/3315663512.html

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