Looking for an ongoing F.W.B. - 27

 He's a stud!

Dane says: "Hello ladies my name is Dane, i am 27 five ft. seven ins. medium built hazel eyes just looking for A friends w/ benefits nothing serious i like too watch wrestling,and workout be between the ages of 21-69 just be o.k. ta meet me some where's and pick me up because i don't drive we can either go back to your pl,ace are have some car fun it'll be up too you so if this sounds what you are looking for send me an e mail i am so sick of b.s. spam so too weed out spam put NO PROBLEM in the subject line w/ a picture if you got one if not no worries JUST BE REAL !!!"

He doesn't have any sleeves, wheels, or standards. That's our kind of man!

http://knoxville.craigslist.org/m4w/3512055918.html

Arm amputee seeks long legged beauty - 39

Get yourself some stump lovin'!

Capt'n Hook says: "Arm amp seeking a wicked woman to have an evil night out ! If you want something different let's go out. I'd love to undress you with my hook and rub you all over with my stump. Let's hook up."


Ya know making fun of disabled people is wrong. It's wrong until someone goes and says "I want to rub you all over with my stump". Then it's acceptable. Having a stump doesn't give you a free ticket to be weird.

 

 http://bham.craigslist.org/m4w/3465851482.html

Attractive and looking for large woman to wear Ninja Turtle outfit. - 30

Different strokes for different folks. 

Ninja Turtle Enthusiast says: "Yep like the ad says the bigger the better. I am looking for someone who would dress up in ninja turtle outfit and hit me with a stick. Must be very healthly and be willing to try new things. Must put Cowabunga in the subject line for me to reply."

Hmmm.... Are you providing the outfit and stick? What if we don't wear the outfit and just hit you with the stick?

  http://bham.craigslist.org/m4w/3476952365.html

FOR ALL LADIES!!!!!! TRYING TO KEEP IT REAL!!!!!! - 32

 All ladies, except the unattractive ones with 1000's of miles on them who are bitches.

Super Freak says: "ya'll kill me. ya'll want us to be this drawn up images of unobtainable perfection. guess what? all those guys are married, or gay, or in prison. the cliche is true. and unfortunately, for whatever reason you missed the boat. maybe you're a bitch, or ugly,or stupid or have poor charachter judgement skills. but for whatever reason it just isnt working out how you planned. or how mommy told you it was going to work. got your attention? i am not going to go all the way in. if you are not perceptive enough then you've probably eliminated yourself by now already anyway and thats good because if you havent been able to keep up thusfar then you arent who im looking for anyway. i am a complicated, educated, working my way up the professional ladder, aspiring, still decently in shape and healthy, fun loving, witty, charming (When do we get to the educated, witty, and charming part?).....need i continue? oh yeah...i am a SUPER freak. i LOVE to eat pussy. of course i love to fuck, but for some reason, i really love to eat pussy. seriously. and of course, naturally, after years of practice (On his hand.), im really good at it (Or so his hand tells him.). plenty more to tell. plenty of pics if interested. now if youve made it this far this is what im wanting from you. first off i PREFER white women. please dont NOT message me if you are black.....again slowly......dont....NOT ....message me bc you're black. uurrrggghhh. message me if your black too. i just said i PREFER white women. (fuck it. if you got it you got it. if you didnt dont worry about it) so i like white girls? sue me. ok.....if you are between the ages of 21 and 30 i would like you to be independent, goal oriented, confident, and of course sexual. please be able to hold a conversation, know remedial things......like what remedial means, not be clingy and if you liked football and know what time 4:20 is then hmu and we can see where this goes. if you are 31-45 you MUST be attractive. sorry i know its shallow but lets face it if i have to drive a car with a feww thousand miles on it, it better be a Benz. feel me? now since that just elimanted a vast majority of this age bracket my remaining criteria isnt very demanding, especially since you older ladies already know what your looking for. But i would like you be a professional but not a bitch. for some reason professional women are always bitches. its the power i know. anyway......confident, open minded, and yes i want you to let me suck on your pussy massively too. thats why you gotta be attractive.....duh.(duh) (yall probably think im exaggerating on this pussy eating thing...NOT) ok real quick, what i want from all this? just someONE cool, on my level, that i can hang out with. someone i can talk about current affairs with or who's playing monday night without the pressures, dramas, stigmas, or bullshit. i am not looking for a one night stand. i am not looking to meet several women on here. i am looking for MY ideal image of a companion. if you've made it this far, which is partially why i wrote this long post, then it could hopefully be you. lastly, see that bottle in the pic? put the name in the subject bar when you reply and we can go from there. i hope YOU are reading this"

It would have to take one special lady to be interested in him. Special, as in slow. Real slow. 

 http://charlotte.craigslist.org/m4w/3459035660.html