home alone - 34

Olympic Fucker says: "It's a terrible movie, or is it great? That's not important. (Why are we talking about that? What does Home Alone being terrible or great have to do with your personal ad? Unless you are 9, the answer is terrible. Or at least it should be.) What is important is a narrow window of freedom that I'd like to use to pour attention on an adventurous girl (Ohhh, you were trying to be clever! But you are just being a douche...). Perhaps you're a student needing a pre-finals fling? (Or perhaps an unattractive man in women's clothing, in need of a tender touch....) I actually don't care (Good!). As long as you're down. We'll catch a little buzz, make each other giggle with our profound insights (Judging by the opening of your ad.... There will be nothing profound about your "insights".), paint each others' nails. Maybe knock some boots? Who knows (We do. Actually think just about everyone reading this knows.).

I'm handsome, and could literally win a gold medal if fucking were an olympic sport. Literally." 

Yup... And it would look something like this

 

 http://athensga.craigslist.org/m4w/2980551153.html