fixed male - 51

He's been neutered. 

Fixed Male says: "Hey, I am a 51 yr old, 6'4", healthy, guy from Eugene. I have lived here for most of 14 years. I'm living next to LCC. With friends I have know for 8 years ( stable couple) (He is mooching their stability for his own image).  I have not been married or had kids. I have not been in jail (county or state) (Never thought to inquire whether "never been to jail" meant one or both.). I am a passing intellectual and a lefty/libertarian. Although I was raised super religious and served 3 years in the Marines, I am neither! I'm looking for a longer term relationship. Pretty sure I would not like to move in together but nights over would be great. I have never been clingy mean or jealous. I would expect the same. I am not some one who cheats. If someone is worth being with they should be good enough until things are over. My life in not filed with drama although I like to think I deal with crises well. I have done a lot of traveling: Hawaii Seattle Eastern Oregon. I always come back to Eugene. Any town that Rush Limbaugh hates must be great. I am mostly a stay at home guy but this leads to strong needs to travel. I am of course willing to cancel future travel or limit it for you. I will warn you I am not well off. I make about $1000 a month. I am working on this (How so? By finding a girlfriend with a job, perhaps??). I surrendered the car for a bus pass and a bike. And I'm loving it (Sure you are.). Please don't let my age fool ya. Most of my friends are around 35. I'm looking for someone who is at least a little silly and care free but not nuts. I'm good at sniffing out nuts (Are you?!). It only takes a few simple sentence/questions to ferret out most . I don't like most popular music, shows, media but i love music movies media. I like foreign music (india, asia,middle eastern) . One last thing for now, no heavies (Because grown men living at their friends', without stable employment, and no car can be picky like that!).

While you're sniffing out the nuts , you might want to go ahead and take a whiff of yourself. Lookin' kind of nutty.

http://eugene.craigslist.org/m4w/3410550961.html

An understanding companion?

Self-Proclaimed BHM say: "I am a BHM which is the male version of a BBW."

He is seeking an understanding companion. Someone who won't mind that he doesn't know what the word handsome means. And looks like he is in a perpetual state of belching.

  http://eugene.craigslist.org/m4w/3405116687.html

Lonely? That sick feeling in your gut at night when you are alone?

 Music for this post

Geeky Type says: "I'm at a similar place. I moved to the area after a family member had some health problems.

I've never been the type to just run out and try to get into a relationship just for the sake of having one, and that isn't quite what I am looking for either. Yet being the kind of person I am, it is very easy to miss things like cuddling, watching a TV\movies with someone, cooking dinner together, etc.

I was hoping to find someone in a similar situation and feeling as me who might want to talk and spend time together to occasionally fill the gaps with those things we miss so we can avoid the occasional pains of loneliness that tend to creep in at night.

Feel free to contact me if you'd like to learn more about me. To give you a quick general idea, I'm not the alpha\cowboy type. I'm more the geeky type with various creative\artistic hobbies, and an odd sense of humor. I once changed the rules of the boardgame Monopoly to be a 1vs1 drinking game for example (The other player was his cat, of course)."

Pic related: Me and my cat pretending to eat a Thanksgiving dinner together (Sure you're pretending?).

 Don't worry. They're in an open relationship. 

 http://portland.craigslist.org/clk/m4w/3434511806.html

Dear Santa - 50

 'Tis the season....

"Dear Santa:

For Christmas I want you to bring me a Christmas Bride. Not for this year because I realize that it is going to take some time for the two of us to get to know each other and to build a long lasting relationship. Santa, you and I both know that real love takes time. Now, before you go hitching up the reindeer and dashing to the far corners of the earth to find her, let me tell you what kind of woman I think would be good for me.

I am looking to find a woman who loves being a woman. A woman who is a girly-girl. A woman who has a job and knows what she wants in life. If she is deaf and/or knows sign language, that is fine because I am studying that. If she desires to be free of cooking, that is great, because Santa, you know I like to cook. If she likes all those Christmas programs on Hallmark, and Lifetime channel, this time of year, that is cool because I will take time to watch them with her. But, if she is into watching lots of sports, maybe you better pass on that one. But, if she will give me time, you know, I can make her happy.

Oh, and Santa, if she has kids, that is OK, because I have two sons, that don't live with me but are with their mother in California, as you know. Oh, and just a note, Santa, I think they were pretty good this last year so go ahead and give them what they asked for.

Now, Santa, you know I am NOT looking for a one night stand. You know I am not looking to just get a little action under the mistletoe or even behind closed doors. I want the long term thing that I had once and that you and Mrs. Clause have had. So, just have her be 35-50, liking all kinds of music, and be someone who won't mind if I am not the dancing type. You know Santa, I am the watch the sun rise and set kind of guy and not a party animal. OK, I know you have seen me drink a little wine, now and then, but always at home. You know I don't smoke or do drugs and you know that I don't have any STDs. But, if you would, Santa, send me a cure for this cold I got when I flew to California this last month, I would appreciate it.

OK, so 35-50 years old, long hair, beautiful exotic eyes and someone with a warm and loving. A woman who wants a man who will be loyal to her and will treat her like a queen. You know the Proverbs 12:4 kind of princess who I will treat like a queen. You know the kind of woman who wants to be treated right and not neglected. Nothing to it, hey Santa! Easy-peasy!!


Oh, and for a code, so I know she is real, in the song "Christmas Bride" have her mention what kind of dust Santa uses along with the sprig of mistletoe.

Thanks Santa"

Someone should probably let him know Santa isn't actually real. 

  http://portland.craigslist.org/yam/m4w/3434839715.html

pu$$ show me n go from there - 40

A Bit Older says: "Show me yours and I can show ya mine, sounds like the start of some fun (No, not really.), I might be a bit older but love the younger hotties (Because older men don't usually love the "younger hotties"...)
I'm 5 8 and 170lbs and bored lol lets have some email fun and see where it goes.
Here it is 3am and still up, wow happens all the time (Nerdinger.)
By the way that's a clean sock lol
email your pic for no sock pic :)"

What can we do to get you to put some clothes on?

http://knoxville.craigslist.org/m4w/3419688073.html

Want to get pregnant? - sperm donor

 He wants to give out his baby making juice. Would you like some?

Sperm Donor says: "I'm looking for a woman of any race or religion that is drug and disease free, stable, employed, and independent to have my baby or babies. After DNA testing to show I am the biological father of the baby, I would be willing to assist with parenting, child support, cloths, insurance, and you can list me on the child's birth certificate (So very generous.). I would like to be friends with the mother and to be fully involved in the child's life. Preferably, you would want 2 - 4 children.. You should be in your early 20's - late 30's.
If you are looking for just a sperm donor, I will also help you to have children.
I am 6ft, 205, have brown/blond hair, blue/hazel eyes.
My sperm count is 109 million per ml as of Aug 8th, DNA testing of sperm is normal, tested for STD's in Feb.
I'm located in Hickory, NC, about 1 hour from Charlotte.
Serious replies only please.
Put BABY CHARLOTTE in the subject line to help me weed out spam"

Because there's nothing weird about being a "sperm donor" on Craigslist. Right....

http://charlotte.craigslist.org/m4w/3412418716.html 

Champagne of Massage

"Good afternoon, ladies, how are you? (A bit sleepy, but okay.) Are you suffering from stress and tension that calls for relief and relaxation? (Well, maybe...) Examine the interconnection between the mind and body. (What?) This is a high quality therapeutic rub-down. (Uh huh...) Many, many high ratings on performance. (From who?) Reputable, trustworthy.  Six ft. tall, relatively strong build (I'd say relatively doughy, guaging from the picture.), caucasian. Friends consider me to be easy to get along with and trustworthy. (Whether or not that counts for anything depends on who your friends are. Are they crack addicts? Meth dealers? Ex cons? Details matter.) I conduct myself in a professional manner. A Double-Headed Vibrating Electric Massage Wand can be used in addition. (Where did you pick that thing up from? Walmart?) You can feel serene and tranquil. >>Incall, or Drive to you. (That's what people ought to do. Give a weirdo from Craigslist with a massage wand their address. Oh yea.)"

You could have at least cleaned the mirror before taking this picture. Ya know give some kind of impression of cleanliness...

 http://charlotte.craigslist.org/m4w/3410036800.html

Do you have a great butt?

Forget all that personality mumbo jumbo....

Booty Seeker says: "Looking for someone with a nice butt or great legs.
But seriously would like to find someone to get to know, and see where fate takes us.
Open minded about most things. Got a question? Just ask me.
Hello!
40-single, white male. Live in Ballantyne, south Charlotte.
I love the outdoors and reading, and looking for new friends and more.
Pics?"

New friends with a great butt or legs, that is. 

http://charlotte.craigslist.org/m4w/3410086470.html

A Very Special Friend - 45

This one is vasectomy safe! and is not asking for money. At least not at this time, anyway. 

Joe says:

"Good Morning Ladies,
What a beautiful day!
Sure would be nice to meet a new friend today, see where it may go. SWM, 45yrs.old, 6'2",188#, very clean, vasectomy safe.
-Joe
ps......very good oral skills!!!!"

 http://charlotte.craigslist.org/m4w/3397281364.html

play time?? asap - m4w - 26

 This one likes money and sex! Rare find, indeed...

Looks Like an Ex-Convict Says: "sooo....heres the deal....i need some extra cash and I'm really good at certain things so hit me up if you wanna know what I'm good at ;)

i got a shaved head and a ton of tattoos."

Maybe if you didn't have a ton of tattoos, you might have some money. Tattoos are expensive! Just a thought. Besides, you don't look someone most women would have sex with for free. It's doubtful you'll be getting paid for it.

 http://logan.craigslist.org/m4w/3386672388.html

Pagan Man Seeking a Pagan Woman - 45

Kilted Massage Guy is starting to look good...

http://springfield.craigslist.org/m4w/3380360774.html

 

Fun, Cute, and New to CLT - 29

What is it with these public bathroom shots? And this one is clearly in a fastfood place. So I'm thinking he was on his lunch break, dropped a deuce, decided he felt damn sexy, and proceeded to take a half naked picture of himself in the bathroom... because it will make the ladies hot in their pants, or something. At least he has a tie on. Gotta keep it classy. 

Bathroom pics are becoming the male equivalent to duck lips. 

 http://charlotte.craigslist.org/m4w/3389548678.html

For the love of snacks - 31

 He's not messing around about those snacks!

Eatin' Cheeze Balls says: "Winter is almost here and that means two things: lots of warm drinks and plenty of snacks. Hot toddies and cheeze balls all the way. Though, bloody mary's and good beer know no seasonal limits. Anywho, I've made myself hungry and need to go tend to that. Good day.

And by tend to that he, of course, means take it in the butt...

http://detroit.craigslist.org/okl/m4w/3387049751.html

rread this if interested in a mmixed boy

Mmixed Boy says: "hi im anthony santiago,if you dont know i am puertorican mixed:) im prety cute:)"

Somebody lied to you. 

  http://detroit.craigslist.org/okl/m4w/3380812040.html

Looking for something real not just sex!

Not just sex! But naked in his picture...

http://charlotte.craigslist.org/m4w/3375122054.html

passionate mans seeks passionate woman

 Maybe it's a tumor...

And who is taking this picture?
And why do you have your shirt off in a public bathroom?

 http://charlotte.craigslist.org/m4w/3378246655.html