Live-in Position - 44

 Who wants to bet this is Shiny Spandex Guy?

 Most Likely Shiny Spandex Guy says: "Classy, sweet, loving and fun SWM in his forties, seeking an attractive, height-weight proportionate single girl for live in position in a big, beautiful, high-tech brick house off Sardis road in southeast Charlotte.

You get to live in a big, beautiful, high-tech home exchange for companionship and sharing half the very short list of chores. Your room is painted a beautiful tropical blue, with large queen sized bed, night stand, dresser, HDTV, and standard sized closet. The straight gentleman works from home, does not drink, smoke, and is not handicap or disabled in anyway. To be clear, this is a true working position requiring real effort on your part, not a skate-all-day give-away.

Must be fun, healthy, fit and very personable.
Must have car, (home is not on a bus line), and
must have a part time or full job to pay for your
own food/toiletries, clothing, and car maintenance.

Please respond with name, age, height, weight, current job (if working),
list of any allergies, list of any health issues, and have photos available
upon request. Please put 'Care Giver', in the subject line of your email
so I know you are not spam. Thank you."

Other related posts:

Do you share my fetish? 

Shiny Spandex Guy is Back 

Shiny Spandex Guy, Yes, again.  

Shiny Spandex Guy pt. 4 

Update on Shiny Spandex Guy 

 http://charlotte.craigslist.org/m4w/3099582588.html

I wanna take you to Victoria Secrets

Generous and Chivalrous Male says: "I wanna take you to victoria secrets buy you a nice outfit and go back to my place so you can wear it for me"

Yay!!! 

 
Do you really expect this to work? Women can take them damn selves to Victoria's Secret. Most do. Regularly. Gonna have to add something to this deal. Thinking that something might be money.

http://newjersey.craigslist.org/m4w/3105308546.html

need some one to love

Sooo... Since you look like you just got molested in this picture, you decided to add balloons and streamers? Cheer it up a bit. Is that what's going on here? Because it's not working. 

Maybe try taking a shower and washing some of that grease off next time. Contrary to popular belief, looking miserable and dirty is not the way to get a woman to want you.

http://burlington.craigslist.org/m4w/3101697840.html

Car meat tonight

A lesson in spelling from Studs of Craigslist: 


meat = food
meet = gathering


Unless of course times have gotten so hard for some people that they can't even afford ramen noodles and  are chewing on cars...

Car Meat Enthusiast says: "Hey anyone trying to go to the car meat to tonight it starts a 7 and ends whenever people ask me what it's like and I tell them it's like what you see on the fast and furious so if your interested just let me know thanks"

Yea... It's like what you see in The Fast and the Furious, just with out the fast and furious parts or attractive people with muscles and stuff. BUT there are cars! and meat? or something... 

Car Meat Enthusiast's ad was submitted by Ellen. Thank you! Reader submissions are always appreciated!

 http://charlotte.craigslist.org/stp/3025302534.html

random pleasures

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Lonely musician searching for love

Lonely Musician says: "I don't know why it's so hard to find people on these dating sites......Oh well, anyway, my name is Abbot (and yes that is my real name LOL)........I'm a guitar player, music is my life, i wouldn't trade it for anything else. I'm just wanting to casually date, because i don't have time for anything long-term right now, being busy playing music all the time (All. The. Time. He is busy being a loser and doesn't have time for grown up things like relationships. Also, his mom doesn't allow him to have sleepovers...or so we assume.).

I wanna find a sweet, loving, caring, bright, heart-melting girl who has a crush on musicians, how retarded does that sound? (Very!) LOL, it's not easy for me to describe things the way I want to describe them (Aren't you like supposed to be an artist and aren't artists usually good at describing things the way they want to describe them?), but as long as you get what i'm saying...I get pretty lonely not having anybody (That you'd like some groupies, because being a musician without them pretty much sucks, but you're never going to be famous enough to attract any so you came on Craigslist to see if you could find someone with enough issues to actually be interested in touching your pee pee? Yea, we got that.) ."

 The following pictures illustrate Abbot's gradual demise. 

Abbot at 20 something.

 

Abbot at 30 something.

"Ahhhh!" 40 something? Jeez....

Why do people do that in their personal ads? Showing younger, better looking pictures, just make what you look like now that much worse.
 

http://asheville.craigslist.org/m4w/2763451641.html