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Special Romance-Just Not Love

This is going to be long and confusing...


Marc says: " ------------------------PICS--------------------------PICS--------------------------------------PICS----------------------

[ The first "2" are me ] [ The next "3" could be US ] the others, "I just really like", LOL

(Only the first one appears to be him. The rest are pretty lame and are therefor not included in this post.)

(This upcoming part is very important. Pay attention. Reread if necessary.) 

WHEN YOU SEND A MESSAGE. THE HEADING IN THE SUBJECT NEEDS TO INCLUDE ["looking FOR marc" ] EXACTLY LIKE YOU SEE IT. COPY PASTE, THIS WILL PROVE "YOU ARE REAL". WITHOUT ["looking FOR marc" ] HEADING YOUR EMAIL WILL BE DELETED. NO PICS WITH PROFILES ADS PUSHING ON-LINE DATING SITES, THESE WILL BE DELETED FIRST. THANKS

(Most other people manage to convey their bot beating tactics in a sentence. Not Marc!)

------------THIS IS FOR SERIOUS "AVAILABLE" WOMEN ONLY------------


SERIOUS" NONCOMMITTAL SHORT TERM SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS, [STR] as opossed to [LTR],TO DO WORK WHEN IT IS DONE RIGHT. I WAS IN ONE FOR OVER SEVEN YEARS UNTIL SHE MEET SOMEONE AND GOT MARRIED. I AM VERY HAPPY FOR HER AND WE ARE STILL FRIENDS. TO THIS DAY IT NO ONE KNOWS NOT EVEN HER HUSBAND AND I DO NOT ASSOCIATE WITH THEM EITHER. THAT IS HOW IT WILL AND SHOULD STAY. MY FAMILY, FRIENDS, & SOCIAL/BUSINESS CONTACTS DO NOT KNOW THIS ABOUT ME. THAT IS WHY I HAVE VERY FEW PROBLEMS, I KEEP MY BUSINESS TO MYSELF!!! THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT THAT ARE LIKE ME. NOT MANY, BUT THEY DO EXIST. A "[NSR]" or as there referred to now as"[STR]" PERSON USUALLY STAYS THAT WAY. WE ARE NOT MARRIED AND WE DO NOT GET INVOLVED WITH COUPLES OF ANY KIND.SHORT TERM RELATIONSHIP(2-3 years) IS WHAT I SEEK JUST DIFFERENT FROM WHAT MOST THINK.

(They are still friends but he doesn't associate with them...)

  "We are smart enough not to buy into the oldest myth running: love. A fiction created by people to keep them from jumping out of windows." QUOTE BY MICHAEL DOUGLAS WALL STREET 1987

 IF THIS IS THE KIND OF RELATIONSHIP YOU ARE SEEKING OR INTERESTED IN EXPLORING. THEN EXPECT IT TO BE APPROACHED IN A SECURITY/SAFE LIKE MANNER AT FIRST. YOU WILL NEED TO SEND A FEW PICS, JUST BODY SHOTS, LIKE I HAVE PROVIDED,(WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHS). FACIAL SHOTS ARE OPTIONAL BUT NOT REQUIRED. "DO NOT SEND VAGINAL PICS OF ANY KIND I WILL NOT HESITATE TO DELETE AND SPAM." WE WILL THEN MOVE FORWARD EXCHANGING INFO SUCH AS STATUS, CITY YOU LIVE IN, LIKE AND DISLIKES,ETC. WHEN WE FINALLY MEET IN A PULIC PLACE, WE NEED TO PROVIDE EACH OTHER WITH RESULTS OF RECENT STD TEST. JUST FOR THE RECORD I AM CLEAN ON BOTH. BTW IF YOU NOT GOING TO PROVIDE VERIFICATION THAT YOU ARE CLEAN, THEN I'M NOT INTERESTED. WHY ANYONE, "WHO IS CLEAN" WOULD NOT WANT THE SAME IS CRAZY.

 About me:
I work a lot, I'm on the road mostly in NC&Va. (No time for relationships),So I am not looking for a wife nor a soul mate. I am a VERY PRIVATE person. I expect and respect the same for others. I am a straight forward no nonsense guy who is POLITE and always picks up the check. I don't like playing gamesand I don't like being to be played. Because I do about my appearance, I'm careful what I eat, I am an attractive white male with short brown hair. I am not fat,bald,hairy,and I stay clean and groomed. (No piercing or tattoos) I am Careful about what I eat I get my exercise activities like dancing,& outdoor sports. I don't sleep much. I like casual sex without strings,(nothing weird) 1ON1, no groups, toys are ok, but I don't need them. Not into cyber sex, I like The real thing. I like good conversation and great sex. Please be within 80 miles of thr Triad so it will be easier for both of us.

 -----------------------------Remember:["looking FOR marc" ]----------------------------------

(Yes, don't forget that!)

 Lives:--------------------alone
Status:-------------------single,
Body type:---------------slender
Hair color:---------------light brown
eye color:----------------blue
Interests:----------------camping, conversation, cooking, dancing, dining out, performing arts, playing sports, the outdoors, skiing,theater, travel/sightseeing
Drinking:-----------------occasionally
Smoking-----------------none
Drugs:-------------------none
Piercing or Tattoos-----none
Turn on:----------------LOYALTY, COURAGE & SEX
Turn offs:--------------Playing Games( Screwing with with people heads),CRYING for self pitty, BIG mouths, & MEAN people
Looking for:------------Sexual Encounter, (SERIOUS SHORT TERM NONCOMMITTAL SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP)

About my Partner:
I'm looking for an energetic strong,Independent,attractive lady who is not overly sensitive, needy, nor clingy and is very comfortable and confident in her sexuality. Having the ability to be in a noncommittal sexual relationship without all the personal business and BEING DISCREET is very important! The factors that are most important to me when looking for a sexual partner: Sexual experience, Physical attraction, Ability to be discreet, Sexual appetite, Agreeable to a commitment free sexual relationship, "[STR]" Please be within 80 miles of thr Triad so it will be easier for both of us.

 Reminder: ["looking FOR marc" ]


(Very important!)

Partner I'm looking for:
Age:--------------------------between 24 and 54
Relationship status:---------currently separated, divorced, widowed, single "NO Married women please"
Lives:-------------------------live alone, live with kids, live with parents, live with roommate(s) "NO women with boyfriends please"
Body type:-------------------slender,athletic,toned,average,curvy,little stocky
Height:-----------------------Any I don't mind
Personality:------------------Any, I don't mind
Smoking: --------------------I don't mind
Drinking; --------------------never, occasionally, daily, I don't mind
Drugs: -----------------------keep it to your self, I don't mind
Ethnicity: --------------------Any, I don't mind
Languages:------------------Any, I don't mind
Religion: --------------------Any I don't mind
Lifestyle: --------------------early bird, neither, night owl
Appearance:----------------very attractive, attractive, average
Hair color: ------------------black, brown, blonde, auburn / red, other
Hair length: -----------------very short, short, shoulder-length, long
Piercing tattoos:------------none, visible, I don't mind

(Basically, anyone.)

 In the bedroom, activities of interest:
Straight sex
Giving oral sex
Receiving oral sex
Anal play (If makes my partner happy)
Toys (anything that will please her )
Mutual masturbation

In the bedroom, activities are OFF LIMITS to me.
Bondage
Slave/Master
Handcuffs

(You and Shiny Spandex Guy wouldn't hit it off then....)

 IF A [STR] IS THE KIND OF RELATIONSHIP YOU ARE INTERESTED IN EXPLORING. YOU WILL NEED TO SEND A FEW PICS, JUST BODY SHOTS, LIKE I HAVE PROVIDED,(WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHS). FACIAL SHOTS ARE NOT DESCREET, WE DO THAT IN PERSON. "DO NOT SEND VAGINAL PICS OF ANY KIND I WILL NOT HESITATE TO DELETE AND SPAM." WE WILL THEN MOVE FORWARD EXCHANGING INFO SUCH AS STATUS, CITY YOU LIVE IN, LIKE AND DISLIKES,ETC. THEN WE WILL MEET IN A PUBLIC PLACE. IF YOU NOT GOING TO PROVIDE VERIFICATION THAT YOU ARE CLEAN, THEN I'M NOT INTERESTED. WHY ANYONE, "WHO IS CLEAN" WOULD NOT WANT THE SAME IS CRAZY.

Reminder: ["looking FOR marc" ]"

I think the reason he over complicates the whole Spam Bot Avoidance thing is so that when no one replies he can lie to himself and blame it on people screwing up his "instructions". He makes it seem much more difficult than it actually is. 

This whole ad could have been written in two sentences. Succinct writing is apparently not one of Marc's strong points.

"Seeking ongoing NSA relationship. Put   ["looking FOR marc" ] in the subject line". 

Voila. Marc's ad in a nutshell. And he might actually get an email or two. 

Marc's ad was submitted by a reader. Thanks! Reader submissions are always appreciated.

http://charlotte.craigslist.org/m4w/3558286685.html

hard33 - m4w - 33

That guy is totally checking him out :)

Dany says: "I am 6-3 tall,dark skin,33 years old..very good looking, seeking pussy to fuck,also I can host,NO MONEY INVOLVE"

He should probably let that guy in the back know that he is seeking women and their lovely lady parts. 

  http://phoenix.craigslist.org/cph/m4w/3583539437.html

 

im drug free - 23

...this morning.
 

Stephen says: "im stephen and im drug free and im look for some one who is a good women who need a drug free guy im a good guy and i well do thing u need me to do so if u are look for that a drug free guy who well be good to u email me"

Questions to ask: For how long have you been drug free? Is this a commitment thing, or will you stop being drug free when your connection reups?

 http://mobile.craigslist.org/m4w/3570497247.html

Ladies:lets make a baby. Sperm donor or responsible baby daddy4you

 Starting to think Craigslist really does need to make a new section in the personal ads for sperm donors. Maybe someone, somewhere is looking for a good deal on baby making juice.

Baby Daddy4you says: "White guy here 37yrs old and looking for a woman who would like to have a baby but has either not met a willing man or does not want a man in her life. I would prefer to assist the child's mother and be active in the child's life and help out both financially with child support as well as in all ways in which a father should help. I would expect to trust and be friends and co-parents with the child's mother so there would be no need for baby momma/daddy drama, jealousy, paternity tests, or other childish games since we are adults. Also, if the woman strictly wants a sperm donation and nothing else from the father then I would be open to helping with that as well and it could be through either sex or at home insemination. Drug and disease free here and looking for the same and someone who is serious. This would be something that obviously I would want the woman to be comfortable with so I would be open to agreeing with her terms upfront, in writing and in front of notary if she chooses. If interested, please put the name of your county in the subject block of your reply."

Here are some of our older Sperm Donor posts:

ANY GIRL WANT TO GET PREGNANT? 

Want to get pregnant?

Decided to procreate. Anyone want to get pregnant?


And here's an article about Craigslist sperm donation gone wrong: 

Craigslist Sperm Donor Forced to Pay Child Support

Can't say this enough, "Don't give sperm to strangers!" 

Some Friendly Advice from Studs of CL 

http://dothan.craigslist.org/m4w/3550025620.html

 

Elvis needs a naughty helper!

Elvis says: "Elvis needs a naughty helper this Christmas season! Are there any naughty college girls or ladies who think they still look like college girls for some naughty photo shoots and possibly more? Send your face and naughty pics, along with your number, and tell Elvis why you should be in his photo shoot!"

"Elvis" needs a better Elvis get-up and to spend some time working on his pecs. 

That's not a banana in his pocket. He's happy to see you. 

 http://auburn.craigslist.org/m4w/3485868091.html

Jogging partner - 30

Did you miss out on that last community service project we posted? Need to get a few hours in? Good samaritan? Like to do your bit to make the world a better place? Or maybe after kicking Gigalo's ass for wasting your sweet time with his nonsense? Whatever the reason, we've got you covered!

Not a Jogger says: "Hello Ladies! I am a 30yo swm looking for a really cool girl that is looking for a jogging partner. I wanna take off like 25lbs and I am not a jogger, maybe you can motivate me:) (With your vagina.)
It would be nice for a fwb relationship to develop and we can burn some additional calories after our hot sweaty runs. (Ewww.) My pic is attached and im like 15lbs heavier than i was in this pic.. put runner girl in the subject line so I know its legit:) Smooches
Hit me up, I cant wait to hear from you! (Have a feeling you'll be waiting a while.)" 

 http://charleston.craigslist.org/m4w/3542008284.html

Searching for you..... - 35

"Donna" says: "Attention ladies!!!!!! I am searching for 10 ladies 21-45 (all shapes, sizes and ethnic groups) to help me show my roomate/ bestfriend/ fb a great time and to make this his best birthday present ever!!! 36th birthday Celebration to start on Feb 8 at 7:00 pm til? His birthday is actually the 11th of Feb.

We will take him out dancing downtown...... (if you don't drink that's ok cuz I will need a couple designated drivers if can't get limo). Afterward we will bring the party back to my home on James Island where we will be dressing up like belly dancers and dance around him like his harem...... give him a massage from head to toe, (YOU DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HIM) (Alright, now assuming this is genuinely Donna searching for these women and not Bday boy himself... you intend to have a bunch of women dance around this man in skimpy outfits, rub him down, and NOT have sex with him? Best bday ever how exactly? Sounds craptastic, if that's actually what is going on here. "Here, friend. I have brought you beautiful naked women who will not sleep with you. Happy birthday!" That's like a bad dream you're happy to wake up from.)We will model for him in different outfits...... ie... evening gown, swimsuit, lingerie, sexy costumes, etc...... (Lingerie! It keeps getting better... Guessing Donna doesn't actually like Bday boy.)

You each will be given a T-shirt to take home tooo! Hopefully we will be wearig these in the hot tub...... (Ooooh! A T-shirt? And I was just wondering what was in it for me??) There will be plenty of food and drinks as well. All I ask is that when we go outdancig you dance with HIM and each other not other guys, this is HIS night, TREAT him like a king! Don't get too drunk that you throw up or pass out (You sure know how to rain on a person's parade.). You don't have to stay the whole weekend but I do have plenty of room to crash if you want.

If you wanna have fun and you're interested, please email pic and your phone #. Put KING in subject line so I know you are real.

YOU MUST BE SINGLE!!!!!!!

Thanks,
Donna

PS... He loves RED HIGH HEELS!"

What do you think? Was this Donna's bad idea or Bday boy being lame? Perhaps a combination of both. 

Here's a pic in the event you have a pair of red heels you've been itchin' to wear and want to "crash" at a complete stranger's house in your complimentary wet T-shirt...

 

http://charleston.craigslist.org/m4w/3542687707.html

 

Looking for love - 35

He's sexy and he knows it.

http://portland.craigslist.org/clk/m4w/3513750609.html

A hunk for any age

A hunk of weirdness, that is. 

On a positive note you could share earrings with him and he could help you with shaving your eyebrows, or something... 

A Hunk says: " Hi

I'm sick of typing these, I'm TOP CLASS for any aged white slender woman who is decent looking, please write... come to my place, it's a music studio and an upscale house and hood... very...

i'm very cool, and good at doing you (That's presumptuous.)... making you feel comfy, as well as very full (Uh huh...)

I'm a programmer, 6 ft, 200 pnds, fit, jog, work at home on computer programming mostly, also music, video, successful, educated, clean.. educated in love and woman, and life and class, all over the world (Whatever you want to hear to get into your pants. That's what he means.)

write to me, please !!!!!!!!!!!"

Think him and Nut Sniffer should get together. They look like they'd hit it off. 

 http://portland.craigslist.org/wsc/m4w/3527647738.html

*Page contains nudity. Click on link at one's own discretion*

Looking for an ongoing F.W.B. - 27

 He's a stud!

Dane says: "Hello ladies my name is Dane, i am 27 five ft. seven ins. medium built hazel eyes just looking for A friends w/ benefits nothing serious i like too watch wrestling,and workout be between the ages of 21-69 just be o.k. ta meet me some where's and pick me up because i don't drive we can either go back to your pl,ace are have some car fun it'll be up too you so if this sounds what you are looking for send me an e mail i am so sick of b.s. spam so too weed out spam put NO PROBLEM in the subject line w/ a picture if you got one if not no worries JUST BE REAL !!!"

He doesn't have any sleeves, wheels, or standards. That's our kind of man!

http://knoxville.craigslist.org/m4w/3512055918.html

Arm amputee seeks long legged beauty - 39

Get yourself some stump lovin'!

Capt'n Hook says: "Arm amp seeking a wicked woman to have an evil night out ! If you want something different let's go out. I'd love to undress you with my hook and rub you all over with my stump. Let's hook up."


Ya know making fun of disabled people is wrong. It's wrong until someone goes and says "I want to rub you all over with my stump". Then it's acceptable. Having a stump doesn't give you a free ticket to be weird.

 

 http://bham.craigslist.org/m4w/3465851482.html

Attractive and looking for large woman to wear Ninja Turtle outfit. - 30

Different strokes for different folks. 

Ninja Turtle Enthusiast says: "Yep like the ad says the bigger the better. I am looking for someone who would dress up in ninja turtle outfit and hit me with a stick. Must be very healthly and be willing to try new things. Must put Cowabunga in the subject line for me to reply."

Hmmm.... Are you providing the outfit and stick? What if we don't wear the outfit and just hit you with the stick?

  http://bham.craigslist.org/m4w/3476952365.html

FOR ALL LADIES!!!!!! TRYING TO KEEP IT REAL!!!!!! - 32

 All ladies, except the unattractive ones with 1000's of miles on them who are bitches.

Super Freak says: "ya'll kill me. ya'll want us to be this drawn up images of unobtainable perfection. guess what? all those guys are married, or gay, or in prison. the cliche is true. and unfortunately, for whatever reason you missed the boat. maybe you're a bitch, or ugly,or stupid or have poor charachter judgement skills. but for whatever reason it just isnt working out how you planned. or how mommy told you it was going to work. got your attention? i am not going to go all the way in. if you are not perceptive enough then you've probably eliminated yourself by now already anyway and thats good because if you havent been able to keep up thusfar then you arent who im looking for anyway. i am a complicated, educated, working my way up the professional ladder, aspiring, still decently in shape and healthy, fun loving, witty, charming (When do we get to the educated, witty, and charming part?).....need i continue? oh yeah...i am a SUPER freak. i LOVE to eat pussy. of course i love to fuck, but for some reason, i really love to eat pussy. seriously. and of course, naturally, after years of practice (On his hand.), im really good at it (Or so his hand tells him.). plenty more to tell. plenty of pics if interested. now if youve made it this far this is what im wanting from you. first off i PREFER white women. please dont NOT message me if you are black.....again slowly......dont....NOT ....message me bc you're black. uurrrggghhh. message me if your black too. i just said i PREFER white women. (fuck it. if you got it you got it. if you didnt dont worry about it) so i like white girls? sue me. ok.....if you are between the ages of 21 and 30 i would like you to be independent, goal oriented, confident, and of course sexual. please be able to hold a conversation, know remedial things......like what remedial means, not be clingy and if you liked football and know what time 4:20 is then hmu and we can see where this goes. if you are 31-45 you MUST be attractive. sorry i know its shallow but lets face it if i have to drive a car with a feww thousand miles on it, it better be a Benz. feel me? now since that just elimanted a vast majority of this age bracket my remaining criteria isnt very demanding, especially since you older ladies already know what your looking for. But i would like you be a professional but not a bitch. for some reason professional women are always bitches. its the power i know. anyway......confident, open minded, and yes i want you to let me suck on your pussy massively too. thats why you gotta be attractive.....duh.(duh) (yall probably think im exaggerating on this pussy eating thing...NOT) ok real quick, what i want from all this? just someONE cool, on my level, that i can hang out with. someone i can talk about current affairs with or who's playing monday night without the pressures, dramas, stigmas, or bullshit. i am not looking for a one night stand. i am not looking to meet several women on here. i am looking for MY ideal image of a companion. if you've made it this far, which is partially why i wrote this long post, then it could hopefully be you. lastly, see that bottle in the pic? put the name in the subject bar when you reply and we can go from there. i hope YOU are reading this"

It would have to take one special lady to be interested in him. Special, as in slow. Real slow. 

 http://charlotte.craigslist.org/m4w/3459035660.html

fixed male - 51

He's been neutered. 

Fixed Male says: "Hey, I am a 51 yr old, 6'4", healthy, guy from Eugene. I have lived here for most of 14 years. I'm living next to LCC. With friends I have know for 8 years ( stable couple) (He is mooching their stability for his own image).  I have not been married or had kids. I have not been in jail (county or state) (Never thought to inquire whether "never been to jail" meant one or both.). I am a passing intellectual and a lefty/libertarian. Although I was raised super religious and served 3 years in the Marines, I am neither! I'm looking for a longer term relationship. Pretty sure I would not like to move in together but nights over would be great. I have never been clingy mean or jealous. I would expect the same. I am not some one who cheats. If someone is worth being with they should be good enough until things are over. My life in not filed with drama although I like to think I deal with crises well. I have done a lot of traveling: Hawaii Seattle Eastern Oregon. I always come back to Eugene. Any town that Rush Limbaugh hates must be great. I am mostly a stay at home guy but this leads to strong needs to travel. I am of course willing to cancel future travel or limit it for you. I will warn you I am not well off. I make about $1000 a month. I am working on this (How so? By finding a girlfriend with a job, perhaps??). I surrendered the car for a bus pass and a bike. And I'm loving it (Sure you are.). Please don't let my age fool ya. Most of my friends are around 35. I'm looking for someone who is at least a little silly and care free but not nuts. I'm good at sniffing out nuts (Are you?!). It only takes a few simple sentence/questions to ferret out most . I don't like most popular music, shows, media but i love music movies media. I like foreign music (india, asia,middle eastern) . One last thing for now, no heavies (Because grown men living at their friends', without stable employment, and no car can be picky like that!).

While you're sniffing out the nuts , you might want to go ahead and take a whiff of yourself. Lookin' kind of nutty.

http://eugene.craigslist.org/m4w/3410550961.html

An understanding companion?

Self-Proclaimed BHM say: "I am a BHM which is the male version of a BBW."

He is seeking an understanding companion. Someone who won't mind that he doesn't know what the word handsome means. And looks like he is in a perpetual state of belching.

  http://eugene.craigslist.org/m4w/3405116687.html

Lonely? That sick feeling in your gut at night when you are alone?

 Music for this post

Geeky Type says: "I'm at a similar place. I moved to the area after a family member had some health problems.

I've never been the type to just run out and try to get into a relationship just for the sake of having one, and that isn't quite what I am looking for either. Yet being the kind of person I am, it is very easy to miss things like cuddling, watching a TV\movies with someone, cooking dinner together, etc.

I was hoping to find someone in a similar situation and feeling as me who might want to talk and spend time together to occasionally fill the gaps with those things we miss so we can avoid the occasional pains of loneliness that tend to creep in at night.

Feel free to contact me if you'd like to learn more about me. To give you a quick general idea, I'm not the alpha\cowboy type. I'm more the geeky type with various creative\artistic hobbies, and an odd sense of humor. I once changed the rules of the boardgame Monopoly to be a 1vs1 drinking game for example (The other player was his cat, of course)."

Pic related: Me and my cat pretending to eat a Thanksgiving dinner together (Sure you're pretending?).

 Don't worry. They're in an open relationship. 

 http://portland.craigslist.org/clk/m4w/3434511806.html

Dear Santa - 50

 'Tis the season....

"Dear Santa:

For Christmas I want you to bring me a Christmas Bride. Not for this year because I realize that it is going to take some time for the two of us to get to know each other and to build a long lasting relationship. Santa, you and I both know that real love takes time. Now, before you go hitching up the reindeer and dashing to the far corners of the earth to find her, let me tell you what kind of woman I think would be good for me.

I am looking to find a woman who loves being a woman. A woman who is a girly-girl. A woman who has a job and knows what she wants in life. If she is deaf and/or knows sign language, that is fine because I am studying that. If she desires to be free of cooking, that is great, because Santa, you know I like to cook. If she likes all those Christmas programs on Hallmark, and Lifetime channel, this time of year, that is cool because I will take time to watch them with her. But, if she is into watching lots of sports, maybe you better pass on that one. But, if she will give me time, you know, I can make her happy.

Oh, and Santa, if she has kids, that is OK, because I have two sons, that don't live with me but are with their mother in California, as you know. Oh, and just a note, Santa, I think they were pretty good this last year so go ahead and give them what they asked for.

Now, Santa, you know I am NOT looking for a one night stand. You know I am not looking to just get a little action under the mistletoe or even behind closed doors. I want the long term thing that I had once and that you and Mrs. Clause have had. So, just have her be 35-50, liking all kinds of music, and be someone who won't mind if I am not the dancing type. You know Santa, I am the watch the sun rise and set kind of guy and not a party animal. OK, I know you have seen me drink a little wine, now and then, but always at home. You know I don't smoke or do drugs and you know that I don't have any STDs. But, if you would, Santa, send me a cure for this cold I got when I flew to California this last month, I would appreciate it.

OK, so 35-50 years old, long hair, beautiful exotic eyes and someone with a warm and loving. A woman who wants a man who will be loyal to her and will treat her like a queen. You know the Proverbs 12:4 kind of princess who I will treat like a queen. You know the kind of woman who wants to be treated right and not neglected. Nothing to it, hey Santa! Easy-peasy!!


Oh, and for a code, so I know she is real, in the song "Christmas Bride" have her mention what kind of dust Santa uses along with the sprig of mistletoe.

Thanks Santa"

Someone should probably let him know Santa isn't actually real. 

  http://portland.craigslist.org/yam/m4w/3434839715.html

pu$$ show me n go from there - 40

A Bit Older says: "Show me yours and I can show ya mine, sounds like the start of some fun (No, not really.), I might be a bit older but love the younger hotties (Because older men don't usually love the "younger hotties"...)
I'm 5 8 and 170lbs and bored lol lets have some email fun and see where it goes.
Here it is 3am and still up, wow happens all the time (Nerdinger.)
By the way that's a clean sock lol
email your pic for no sock pic :)"

What can we do to get you to put some clothes on?

http://knoxville.craigslist.org/m4w/3419688073.html

Want to get pregnant? - sperm donor

 He wants to give out his baby making juice. Would you like some?

Sperm Donor says: "I'm looking for a woman of any race or religion that is drug and disease free, stable, employed, and independent to have my baby or babies. After DNA testing to show I am the biological father of the baby, I would be willing to assist with parenting, child support, cloths, insurance, and you can list me on the child's birth certificate (So very generous.). I would like to be friends with the mother and to be fully involved in the child's life. Preferably, you would want 2 - 4 children.. You should be in your early 20's - late 30's.
If you are looking for just a sperm donor, I will also help you to have children.
I am 6ft, 205, have brown/blond hair, blue/hazel eyes.
My sperm count is 109 million per ml as of Aug 8th, DNA testing of sperm is normal, tested for STD's in Feb.
I'm located in Hickory, NC, about 1 hour from Charlotte.
Serious replies only please.
Put BABY CHARLOTTE in the subject line to help me weed out spam"

Because there's nothing weird about being a "sperm donor" on Craigslist. Right....

http://charlotte.craigslist.org/m4w/3412418716.html