Tired of Looking?

Dipwad says: "Hello Internet.

(Hello Dipwad.)

Right now I'm looking for just sex (You don't say...), but I can be persuaded otherwise (Oh, sure. Tons of women will be staying up all night trying to figure out how. Mmhmm.).
I'm looking for a somewhat active, independent girl. Definitely someone who will weigh less than me!
(Cue the music: Click Here)
I am not a bulging muscle mass, I have to get back into fitness, but for now life's hectic...
(So it's okay for you to be an out of shape slob, but not the women you want to bone?)I'm a moderate drinker, don't smoke. I don't judge, neither should you (That means when he's drunk at 11am you shouldn't open your pie hole about it).
I'm very creative, independently minded, and intelligent.

Here are some ground rules, these will help me determine that you are a real person (And that you ACTUALLY READ my post.)

1. I'm not looking to hire a prostitute (No, you're not looking to hire because that means you have to pay. But if there were any hookers out there needing to do some community service...he could be persuaded...we are sure of that.)
2. I absolutely must have you send me a photo. I posted one to prove I'm real, now you do the same.
3. I will NOT follow any links to sites where I am supposed to upload personal information.

(Even though I put that there, I will get emails from THEM, so please hurry up and send me a message!)

http://charlotte.craigslist.org/m4w/2819274048.html

Do you have a 'butt' like this? If so, I want to meet you - 45

Butt Pirate has been kind enough to include this picture of some random girl's butt for you to refer to. Go check the mirror now and see if you're up to his "standards".

Butt Pirate says: I am a 45 year old male who is seeking one womans company however, I have a 'type'.

This posting is 100% real and I want to find a woman who has a 'butt' like the picture you see. Just like the legs too if possible.

Get in touch with a picture or two of you and your 'butt' and Ill get back with you.

You MUST enjoy your 'butt' being 'enjoyed' by a wonderful, hansdome, romantic, sexual single male.

Subject line......'my A--" is ready.

I am craving a butt like this!!"

We're no experts on butts, but we're willing to wager this one belongs to a woman far to young for you weirdo. Stop taking pictures of people's asses while standing in lines. That's creepy.

http://portland.craigslist.org/mlt/m4w/2813035736.html

DAMM WHY IS IT SO HARD TO FIND ???

Needs to Learn How to Spell says: "WHY IS IT SO HARD TO FIND A LADY IN PORTLAND THATS CURVY AND KNOWS WHAT A PARE OF OPEN TOE SHOES (We're not sure we know what a "pare" is either) ARE SOMEONE THATS NOT A HIPPY WANT_A _BEE I SWERE I NEED TO MOVE TO MIAMI !!!!!!! (Don't threaten the poor women of Portland like that, you're crushing dreams, breaking hearts, and shattering hope or something like that...)"

For one, you're in Portland. You don't go to Old Navy and expect to find a Big Mac. Also, it's cold and raining there 10 months out of the year. Thinking open toe shoes aren't the choice footwear for a reason.

http://portland.craigslist.org/clc/m4w/2810788886.html

CUM SIT ON MY FACE

Yea...Sure...Why not?!

Kitty Licker says: Whays gud ladies (Translation: "What's good?"), I'm looking for that someone who love to get there pussy earing (Think he means eaten, probably wouldn't mind a piercing down there though...he seems cool like that), I want u to come over and sit on my face, I love eating pussy, and making u come over and over over leading to orgasms (What else would "coming" lead to? "coming"= orgasm), u must be clean, I'm mean shaved or well groomed (Washed is optional, as long as you are shaved)."

http://charlotte.craigslist.org/m4w/2807345914.html

its too beautiful of a day NOT to have good sex! any1 interested?

So are rainy days like mediocre sex day?

Feels Like Playing says: "It's a wonderful day, and I'm feeling like playing..
If you're interested in a no strings friendship, write back and let's talk.." friends " in the subject line to speed thing up."

Be sure to put that "friends" in the subject line. Don't want to waste even a second of this beautiful day on NOT having good sex, when good sex is just a "friends" away.

 His stomach kind of looks like it's smiling. Can't. stop. looking. at. it : (  

New to the area

White Dude says: "Well I'm just chillaxing at mi casa today. I am just doing my laundry, went grocery shopping, got my hair did, etc... I'm a 27 yr old white dude, here for school, and don't really know where anything is. I like to shoot pool, watch movies, football, listen to music, text, play video games, go out to eat..any one else?"

That seems normal enough....



What in the world is going on here? Are you having a seizure? Do you want to make out with a football? Is this a face you make often?? Don't think this is what anyone wants to wake up to in the morning...

http://loz.craigslist.org/m4w/2789619516.html