Friday, September 30, 2011

Black girl wanted by white man

White guy not wanted by anyone.

"Oh...hmm what picture should I use for my personal ad...oh yea this one where I look like a total dufus...yes that will be perfect!"

Dufus says: "i am big into technology, i am always on facebook. paul ramey II if you want to look me up. i have two accounts so add both so i dont miss your invit."

Right because you have so many invites you might miss ours and you need two accounts to keep up with all of your facebook awesomeness. That's about as likely as us throwing back a couple of cold ones with the Easter Bunny while cooking a unicorn, rotisserie style, in the backyard this weekend.  

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

The Close Talker

Has White Teeth says: "why is it so hard to find someone to click with?"

Ummm... Could have something to do with you cheesing like that in people's faces. What is it with these extreme close-ups? Awesome you have white teeth...that's back the f* up. Thanks!

This is an appropriate distance. No one needs to see your mouth like that again except your dentist.

How about Dinner

How about some Top Ramen? Top means it's high quality...not like those other crappy kinds.

Looking for Food says: "I am looking for a nice lady with some cooking skills. would like for you to invite me over for a nice home cooked meal and conversation. I'll bring the bottle of wine or desert and myself. are there any ladies that still do that sort of thing? a lot of women are asking for things I just want to meet one woman that doesn't mind doing something themselves"

You can keep the conversation but we might be willing to overlook your douchiness for some wine. 

Monday, September 26, 2011

Home Alone?

Does not having a stalker have you feeling down? Do you often wonder why no one has become unhealthily obsessed with you? What you need is a peep'n tom....

And we've got one for ya! Michael has over 10 years of experience at being a pervert. He's available to watch you through your window whenever you like and long after you wish he'd stop.

Michael is also available to stand at the foot of your bed and stare at you while you sleep. These services are just a click away. Go on and text him your address and he'll be over in no time to stare at you. 

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Unique guy seeks Patroness

That's fancy talk for sugar momma.

Unique Guy says: "If you are a woman  (Yup)
who likes a guy like me:
Strong but sensitive, (Strong is good)
Intelligent but can be silly, (Sure)
Good but sometimes bad, (Uh huh)
and has champagne taste but beer money, (Whoa, wait...what?? No...not at all)
then write me back."

Since when does unique mean just like every other loser?

Every Woman's Dream

Tony says: " name is tony.I'm in to sports cars and music.I love cooking and muvies.I'm looking for a nice women.if you like wat you see Email me and tell me about your send apicture"

We see a guy with man boobs... wear'n a dirty white t-shirt. Additionally, you're about as interesting as a wet cardboard box. What's not to like???

Friday, September 23, 2011


White Male says: "Hello, I'm a White Male. 39 years old. 6'1, 270lbs. I have No Kids, No Smoke, No Drugs and I'm Clean. I have a Two Drink Limit for Myself. I have a Job! Im new to Melbourne and looking to meet people. If that sounds ok to you please send me a note and we will go from there. Please put "POOPIN" in the title so that I know you are real. Thank you for looking."

"Poopin" was the best you could come up with for that? Were you "poopin" while you wrote this ad or are you into German porn? Not sure which is worse...

Needs Woman, Has Guitar

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Only has a few skeletons in the closet

Oh that...I decapitated them yesterday...don't worry about it, tomorrow's a new adventure! The weather might be right for running over pedestrians at cross walks. Are you up for it? Things can get a bit bumpy.

Mr. Nice Guy says: "So, here I am. Mr. Nice Guy, hoping to find someone that doesn't plan to one day run me over like a blade of grass with a lawnmower. I have no intention of living in the past. What's happened has happened. Has nothing to do with tomorrow. Tomorrow is a whole new adventure. Hoping to find someone who honestly wants to find out with me what tomorrow holds. Someone who's interested in heading to the park and playing on the swings."

Not try'n to jump to conclusions or anything Mr. Nice Guy but you have a picture of yourself here in front of an Easy Bake Oven and you want to go play on the swings.... Thinking tomorrow might be "lure little Suzy back to your car" day.

Then in your ad you say things like "I don't work on cars..I'm lucky I know where to put the gas in!", "Football? Eh. I watch figure with it. Hate camping, love hotels. Hate fishing, love antiquing." and share this picture of yourself in front of the Froot Loops...

Are you sure you're seeking women? Maybe you didn't notice the Easy Bake Ovens in the back and happened to randomly decide it was a picture moment while lurking in the girl's toys section but you saw those Fruit Loops...There's no mistaking it. Hellen Keller could see 'em. Sneaking suspicion being "Mr. Nice Guy" isn't the reason you're single.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

There are farm animals more domesticated than him

Quintessential Health and Fitness Nut says: "'Describe yourself.' Don't know about you but this is like trying to sketch the Grand Canyon on a Post-It note with a 10-inch paint roller. And for my next joke...!

The Question. Why am I here? B/c I refuse to play the Dating Game, an unwritten code of rote dialogue and behavior which most people know and blindly obey. A manchild tells a woman exactly what she wants to hear and six months later she racks her brain wondering why he's 'changed'. I don't want to sleep alone, but I will have my self-respect. And coffee. Can't forget that.

Besides, sex is better with two people (Can't argue with that).

By age 35, you can traverse the adult dating universe and stop at every planet along the way. You become so independent and self-aware it's medically abnormal. You know what you can and can't give, what you will and won't put up with, and you know EXACTLY what you want, don't want and everything else is bullsh- cough! I've had lots of time to think and wean myself off things that some people can't take a pi$$ without. At this point there's only one thing I can't do to or for myself. A-HEM. No expectations here but if you just want to talk, call your Mom. I'm happy to meet your needs - provided I meet mine, too. We're ALL human (Some are actually swamp creatures, but okay...).

A fit or youthful single Mom or 40ish-50ish woman is sexier than ANY 20 y. o.. Period. I would elaborate here but a paragraph that long would crash the server.

When I was 12, my then-46 y. o. teacher said, "Morgan, some day you'll make some 40 y. o. woman very happy." I was an odd child and not much has changed. (So your teacher use to touch your privates? hmmm, interesting)

I am a calm, focused person raised by strong, intelligent women in an ultra-authentic environment. An excellent shrink and 4 years in the Marines didn't hurt either. Zero BS Past This Point. No bragging, begging, manipulating, small talk, chest-pounding, competing, drama or fighting. This bores and perplexes some people and downright irritates a few more. That's Ok. They'll live.

I'm a man, not a woman (Whew...we were worried about that. These days you can never be too sure). I don't act, talk, or think like a woman. If you want a man that does, go to a drag show.

I'm not bubbly, smooth, prim, proper, or polished. There are farm animals more domesticated than me (Good to know). I would rather drink strychnine than go to a party, but if I must, show me to the food and wake me up when it's over.

I've never talked much. Everything is what it is. Why discuss it? Besides, that's your job. (Nice...)
Meet the quintessential health and fitness nut. Lifelong habit. I'm not Lance Armstrong but he doesn't have much on me. Weights, running, aerobics, vitamins, sea salt, moisturizers and TONS of stretching; nobody wants to get old. I don't care if you don't exercise, but if it's obvious that you don't, thanks for stopping by.

I've taught yoga, tutored, sold insurance. Marines '94-'98. I now remodel and flip foreclosed homes. Much of my adult life resembles an episode of 'Dirty Jobs.' I looooove work and rank it right behind oxygen, food and you-know-what.

Life's short, we all have agendas and only birds of a feather flock together. I'm not here for a pen pal, beauty queen, drinkin' buddy, Sugar Momma, shrink, life coach, or Mary Kay rep. Me man, you woman, and we're not in 6th grade anymore. I don't care what's in your IPOD. Last time I checked it's about treatment... affection... chemistry... hormones. . . affection. . . love languages... hormones. . . affection... affection. . . I dunno.

I figure we're all looking for the same things, just in a different order and proportion. I seek a woman for what only a woman can provide: chemistry, company, and affection (Reads: Vagina). Wise, humble, good-humored and warm-blooded.

Thank you for the compliments on my funny and witty profile. Enough already. I'm looking for you and me, same place, same time, same bat channel, same bat agenda.

Here's what's in it for you: Honest and direct conversation; free yard work and home repair; sincere compliments; laughing; listening; teasing; hopping and skipping; hand-holding, hugging, kissing, massaging, petting and cuddling. If that turns you on, yippee skippy. If not... I can also make that popping sound with my mouth and thumb (He's got something for everybody)."

Other phrases include "Shut up, the TV's on" and "Get me a cold one".

 Requires 12 cans of beer.
 *Beer not included.

*Photo edited by Studs of Craigslist*

Monday, September 19, 2011

seeking woman with panty fetish

Wears Panties says: "seeking women that have a panty fetish as i do and would enjoy their man in panties, straight guy here just love the feel of those panties, if instrested let me hear from you"

He just wants to get in your draws....


How do you even get started with something like this? Just decide you want to try on women's underwear one day? Drunken bet??

Sunday, September 18, 2011


Looking for Friends says: "New Toy and looking for friends who want to have fun:)! NO SINGLE MEN!!!!"

Mmmm hmmm...

...Looks a lot more painful than fun to us.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

gotta work on it - 23

He's not a quitter!

Dedicated and Ambitious says: "So, It was my goal to sniff as hard as I could and keep two quarters in my nose. However, I am sad to report that I could only manage two dimes in my nose at one consecutive time. I will continue to work on this as best as I can. that is all."

When at first you don't succeed, try, try again...

Friday, September 16, 2011

Alright, I do admit it - 48

Formula Fed says: "Ok, I certainly admit that I was raised at a time when the formula was the way to go, and I did not get the benefit of the colostrum nor enough sucking in. I like sucking breasts, and so anybody want to help me and I will make you feel good? I am a pretty sensual man also, and will gladly take care of your needs. Pregnant, lactating a plus also, but not necessary. Nonsmoking is a requirement, ok?"

Nothing but the best for him. Don't want none of that nicotine in his booby milk....alcohol is a plus though, helps him get to sleep at night.  

How 'bout it... got a teat available for suckling? It's for a noble cause...he was deprived as an infant.

Celebrity Spotting

Hey look it's Hans from The 'Burbs

Not much has changed since we last saw Hans...he still enjoys eating people and being weird.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

all night? - 50

Hot to Trot says: "you do me ?"

Somebody just got their prescription for Viagra refilled... 

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Sex and Candy - 50

He delivers...

Out of Practice Molester says: "which one would you like first. send picture and number I deliver"

We're no experts here but usually pervs entice people with the candy to take the sex. Think that's how that goes. 

One of the first things you learn about interacting with strangers is not to take candy from them. Come on... 

And for a flashback to the 90's click the link > Sex and Candy < Oh it's no dream, more like a nightmare.

Reading Between the Lines

A nice way of saying "Hey, I'm full of crap."

Storyteller says: "I like curvy smart sexy women. I would love someone with her own opinion. At my core I'm a good man. I'm a poet by nature, storyteller by choice."

We were going to inquire about the "good at core" statement but you cleared that up by telling us about your excrement-like flattery and lying. Thanks.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

seriously looking

Tells It How It Is says: "I'm a 45 yr. old man looking for a woman who will clean my house , wash my clothes and cook my dinner in exchange for sex. Ha ha. Just joking."

Wow...That's actually the most accurate description of marriage we've ever heard. Maybe the divorce rate wouldn't be so high if wedding vows were more honest.

Traditional Vows-AKA BS

I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part

Wedding Vows- Updated 9/13/2011

Will you cook, clean, and have sex with me?

*Under the new vows women will now only say "I do".  Why are no vows exchanged by women you wonder? Because men will not be subjected to any expectations and by entering this union you explicitly express your understanding in this matter.

Tells It How It Is also says: "Actually ('re looking for what you initially said. You're not fooling anyone.) I'm looking for a woman who is honest , around my age, ready to settle down, smoking and drinking is fine because I do both. I love sports , fishing , classic rock , new rock , movies , I have 2 dogs , I love cats but I don't think I could eat a whole one. I believe P.E.T.A. should stand for People Eating Tasty Animals. That's me in a nutshell. If you would like to talk or meet send me a message. I'm not the best looking man out there but I'm faithful , honest, trustworthy, dependable, and if I fall in love ,you will know it and feel it every day. Let's talk..............."

Monday, September 12, 2011

No time to go out

No time? or Not allowed?

Stay'n In says: "Well I'm 23 Mexican obviously sense of humor loves to protect never disrespectful of women's comfort zones 5"11 medium build tattoos new to the area only real reply with Jose in the subject"

House arrest is a b....

A Lesson in Country Spelling

How to spell lingerie in country.

Handsome and DDF Male says: "hey sexy girls, handsome and ddf male here looking for a freaky,kinky,night of fun!!!! I got 7inches and love ya girls in lenjerie!!!"

You can hear the accent when you say "lenjerie" out loud. Try it.

The marketing people over at Victoria's Secret should be advised of this so they can better serve their backwoods patrons. Imagine the frustration of not being able to find your local lenjerie retailer.

*Everytime "lenjerie" is said outloud 10 French people die from uncontrollable ear bleeding. Please use responsibly.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Here it is!

Last week we promised you the picture of Pervy White Guy in his bathrobe and we know how much you were all looking forward to that ; )

This picture is from his previous ad where he told us about his fetish for shiny spandex and catsuits.

And here is the pic you've been waiting for....

Pervy White Guy says: "Shared vanilla interests might include video games, board games, biking, tennis, cuddling while watching tv, scifi/fantasy movies and shows, musicals and plays, and traveling to the beaches, mountains and beyond.
I am about to buy a brand new big screen, flat panel HDTV for the bedroom and need someone to play video games with, watch movies with!

Shared spicy interests should include: D&S roleplay, adult language, toys, lots of lingerie, sympathy for a hosiery fetish, tease and denial, very light S&M, and forced feminization.
(I have enough toys and lingerie to open my own sexy store, LOL! But you must respect safe words and limitations please!"

He's been about to get a new big screen, flat panel HDTV for the bedroom for several months now...Doesn't seem like it's happening. Way to get our hopes up Pervy White Guy : (

Are you a big girl and single?

Likes 'em Any Way He Can Get 'em says: "Well, if you are, and you're looking for someone, you can get in touch with me. I'm in no rush so by all means, we can take things slow (but i'm open to suggestions ; D). As you can probably tell by the posting, i'm into bigger women, but it is not a reqirement. Race is not an issue either. The only real catch is that you cant have any kids, or be expecting, and you must be younger than 40. Otherwise, Im pretty much open."

Are pregnant women really trying to pick men up? Kind of thought pregnancy put a hold on dating for most women...

i need a girlfriend ! - 32

He ate the last one.

Needs a Girlfriend says: "i need a very attractive girl that wants a relationship w/ me and knows im am safe with im safe man and i am not a bad person at all i wont harm u at all i promise"

His insistence on not being dangerous is a little unsettling but a promise is a promise....  He can't be held accountable for what happens when hungry though. Without a well thought out exit plan you could very well end up being his after dinner snack.

If the "oil" he's using to give you a massage has a buttery better throw him a twinkie from the night stand and ruuun!

Saturday, September 10, 2011

OLDER WOMAN 40s+ or 50s+ - 38

The Shoe Bandit says: "38 years Single seeks a OLDER Woman ONLY !
in Her 40s+ or 50s+

NO Young Ladies !"

Because older women can afford nicer shoes for him to steal...

When guys put pictures of shoes in their personal ad we immediately think of Woogie from There's Something About Mary.  The real annoying thing about these weirdos is that they usually only take one shoe and that is just bastardous.

(Woogie from There's Something About Mary)

Another Bat Update

Bat is back on the market!? Guess things didn't work out between him and Mz. Thickness : ( 

Oh well...

Bat says: "I am a 33 male and currently seeking a Brunette girlfriend age 21 to 33. Rock Hill/York county area only."

Don't fret Bat...We know there's a brunette out there somewhere for you.

In case you're new here and aren't familiar with Bat you can check out these other posts

Bat the Goth

Love is in the Air

Thursday, September 8, 2011

YOU be the WOMAN -- I'll be the MAN - 46

See Can Read and Doesn't Post Pictures of His Junk it is not only women making bulleted posts of unrealistic demands... This guy wants someone who plays tennis, hunts quail, likes both of her parents, and speaks another language. He even specified preferred countries of origin.

Most women just want a guy that has a stable job, no addictions, and won't sleep with her sister. Jeez...

Edward says:
- if you wear a skirt occasionally
- if you like getting your feet rubbed
- if you will drive us home from the party if I get tipsy
- if you don't mind getting dressed up from time to time
- if you have some opinions of your own
- if you read an occasional book
- if you don't mind my leaving the seat up sometimes
- if you love children
- if you love dogs
- if it's you and me versus the world
- if you love to cook
- if you like your father at least as much as your mother even if you don't call him as much
- if you are kinda Catholic or Orthodox -- or were raised with a nodding familiarity with either one
- if you are from South or Central America somewhere, or
- if you are from southern Europe or the Middle East
- if you speak more than one language
- if you have dark hair or very dark hair
- if you might consider doing something adventurous in bed ;-)
- if you can yell and scream about something, then forget it forever
- if you'd rather stay in than eat out
- if there is some place you're dying to try
- if you would consider camping
- if you will cook the meat I bring home
- if you smile
- if you are kind to strangers
- if you tear up at sentimental movies
- if you would consider doing what it takes to loose a few pounds
- if you like squash or tennis -- or another sport at while you are good
- if you can ride a bike or paddle a canoe and wouldn't mind doing it again
- if you can hunt quail or pheasant -- or even grouse
- if you can handle a night together if the power goes out
- if you need a man in your life who is not afraid to be a man
- if you have a million qualities I can't think of to list right now, but which will be a delight to discover

Hi -- I am a real man who does real man kinds of things; I live in Orange County and I work in New York in a branch of finance. I go to the office at least three times a week and I have a small boy from a prior relationship whom I love dearly. (He lives in Bergen County.) I look after my own and I don't care for whining. I am not "a sensitive new age guy" -- but I am not a pig either.

If you think that some of the things from the list above might describe you, I want to hear from you. I want children and I want a woman who is sensible enough to want children and a woman who is still young enough to have a couple.

Picture replies go to the front of the line. (It's only fair.) Pictures aren't everything though -- intelligence matters too (Don't worry with criteria like his the line won't be long).

I wasted too much time in New York City and it's time to catch up. Let's go. I am looking forward to hearing from you.


Edward is doing a wonderful job of looking like a pompous-ass in this last picture.

The Creep

Theme song for Studs...

*Video is the property of SNL

Are you lonely - 39

 Asshat says: "Do you think you could use some company (Perhaps...). Are you sick of doing everything by yourself (We are). Wouldn't it be nice to go out for dinner at taco bell, or kentucky fried chicken (NO! Could do that by our damn selves!! what the....) ,and then to a movie with a nice guy. Cuddle on the couch with a man (Men don't take women on dates to Taco Bell...) not a pillow (Take a pillow over a toad any day). Go for rides to nowhere to look at the foliage (Bet you don't even have a license). Go to a fall fair. If any of this sounds good I guess i'll here from you soon."

Someone has watched one too many infomercials.... The intro sounds promising and then the product just sucks. Gonna have to try a lot harder to sell us on this one buddy.  

Don't worry, pics are NOT of my junk - 30

Ohh...that's refreshing. Now only if the ones who do post pictures of their baby-maker would be so kind to title ads appropriately.

Can Read and Doesn't Post Pictures of His Junk says: "Every time I go out, I see cute and otherwise well adjusted women holding hands with total douchebags... guys that look like they belong on Reno 911, or with a minor role in Jersey Shore. Ladies, you are better than that! I don't wear baseball caps, run out and buy the latest fad clothing, or wear t-shirts with retarded slogans or brand names on them. The only sport I am into is NFL football, and have no interest in watching others on tv. I wouldn't mind an afternoon at Fenway, but I don't care if they win.

Meeting someone through CL is a longshot, there are countless posts of vapid (This is Craigslist...You might want to tone that fancy talk down a bit) women who "have a zest for life", and "Love the RedSox!"... Then there are the posts by women who have bulleted lists of unrealistic demands of their potential suitors. I'm sure they would even do it in PowerPoint if they could figure out how to type without ALL CAPS. My sense of humor is far too edgy for people like that. Good luck finding your rock climbing, trust funded, part time chef and nobel prize winner who wants to treat you like a princess, I'm sure he'll be knocking on your trailer door any day now! (Ouch...Ya know there's a saying about honey and bees...never mind)

I'm a totally good looking guy, 6'1, 185. I can cook, I read books (A rare breed he is), own my own home, my car is paid for, and I can carry a conversation without saying "fuck" every other word like it is some kind of stutter... which isn't to say I don't curse at all, because I do. I can have fun going out to dinner, or staying in and watching a movie. I'd like to get back into skiing, so bonus points if you ski or snowboard. Bonus points for geeky girls as well (Good looking and generous!).

The whole Dating Scene is a little unhinged, too many guys stalking for hookups, women who have been burned by them, and the legions of crazies. Having acknowledged that the field is littered with guys just trying to score, I have to qualify that I am of course looking to get some too (Naturally...and honestly for most women things would only last about a week if you weren't.), but that is not my sole objective (you think I'm some kind of "Situation" ?). If we hit it off, you can be confident that a monumental amount of epic screwing will ensue.

And since this is CL, please be std free (If it wasn't Craigslist would STD's be ok?). My sincere empathy to those who are not (Not really feeling the sincerity...), but I've already got my share of challenges in life and I don't want to add new ones (What kind of challenges? A peg leg? Glass eye? Narcolepsy?? What's going on here?)."

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Tip of the Week

Each week we'll offer some obvious advice for improving your personal ad experience and keeping yourself off of the Studs List.

Last week's tip was about intentionally procreating with strangers. This week we'll discuss meeting people.

If you are having trouble meeting people, the problem might be where you are looking.

Very rarely will you meet someone new on your couch. If you do meet someone on your couch you may want to notify the this person is likely breaking and entering and may be stranger than you. New people will most usually be found in places outside of your home like the grocery store, park, or, for the adventurous type, at the bar. The next time you run out for pizza and donuts look will see people...some of which you may find attractive. You can talk to them. Making eye contact and smiling are ways to measure interest before initiating conversation. 

 People also rarely just wander around the woods and the ones that do should probably be avoided. You might think the obvious solution then is to attract people to the woods. Well...treehouse clubs usually diminish in appeal around age 11. So unless you are 11 and are trying to attract other 11 year olds...starting a club probably won't get you any friends. Try venturing out of the woods from time to time. Maybe put some clothes on before you do that and leave your pet rats at home. See how that works out for you.

This week's tip was brought to you by Tanner the Philosphical Pothead  and Gilbert the Naked Guy.

Thank you for your continued support!

Until next week....

Happy Dating!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Phoenix Fancy Rat And Nudist Club, Inc. - 50 Part 2

Update on the rats and naked guy in the woods. 

Gilbert says: Narurits Club, associated with AANR, American Association for Nude Recreation, Inc.
Our group is an incorprated intenty and will be detailed via email.
The most beautiful thing there is is a nude body. There are lots of woods to wander here and a wonderful creek to fish or just sit in it and enjoy. We do have General Guidlines for your viewing after here. Come and enjoy the situation, I myself and a 10 year vetran of the lifestyle. I put the catgory as misc romance because a nudist club tend to mostly be women and a few men tend to work that way this male could care less. LOL I almost forgot the said that this club is located at 3300 ft in the Blue Ridge Mountains. We would like a few live in residence since that is 3000 sq ft hose that plenty of ROOM AVALIABLE. This should be really fun since the property is totaly seculeded. There is a small membership fee to help maintain the house and grounds. Come and enjoy our little peice of nature."

In the last ad membership was free. So what is it Gilbert? Is getting drugged, killed, and then dined upon by yourself and the rats something we have to pay for now?

Do you share my fetish?

Very unlikely.

Pervy White Guy says: "43 yr old, average looking SWM with fantastic personality (once you get to know me). I'm classy, successful, happy, and very much a 'city man', not a country boy. I'm seeking an attractive, healthy (d&d free?) single girl 23-45 who shares my fetish for shiny spandex, hosiery, catsuits/body-stockings, and HOURS of foreplay.

I hope someone sweet will write to me and tell me your name, age, other (vanilla?) interests, ect. Please put 'kitties rule' in your subject line so I know you're real.
Your clear, recent photos may get mine."

The only interest coming to mind is not seeing you in spandex...

This guy posts an ad every week. Usually there is a picture of him with a bathrobe "sexily" falling off his shoulders... He removes ads often, so we cannot share the bathrobe pic with you at this time but will as soon as it becomes available again. Then you can decide which look is more unflattering.

From another ad:

Pervy White Guy also says: "I am a very successful professional and enjoy laughing, video games, biking, tennis, watching tv/movies, sexy lingerie, and technology. Own a beautiful brick house, lots of fun toys, and a brand new, beautiful car.Please dont be allergic to kitties."

The toys he is referring to are of an adult nature. According to other ads we've read he also has lingerie to share. Because everyone enjoys putting their private parts where other's private parts have been right?? 

Updates on Pervy White Guy coming soon!

Monday, September 5, 2011

One For the Country Gals

Toothless Larry says: "Hi baby, you'd like me."

"Get ready to rastle!"

Toothless Larry's interests include raslin, NASCAR, beer can gardening, and t-shirts without sleeves.

A reader sent in Toothless Larry's ad. Thanks V!

*Toothless Larry's ad is not real. It was found in Rants and Raves.Studs of Craigslist was not able to identify the origin of the picture.  

Looking for 3 girls to come out and party

3 Honest Guys say: "HEY! We are 3 honest guys looking to find some girls to come party with us, dont worry its nothing creepy, PROMISE!!"

Looks pretty creepy to us.

Sunday, September 4, 2011


That's always a good way to start things off.

Found a nice lady friend for one of our studs.

Complicated says: "Im a black female, 21 years old 5'5 with meat on my bones, but not neccessarily fat. I'm looking for a older successful man who has time for me, I don't want you JUST for your money (Mostly though.), I want your time, I want you to want to spend time with me, maybe even fall in love with me. I get dependent on others kinda easy, dont worry not financially (Uh huh...), but emotionally because I don't have much friends or family (and why is that? What happened to them?). I'm very attractive, and I have alot of great qualities, beautiful smile, country, sweet, good sense of humor, very very honest, and Im sure that I can impress you with my intelect. I guess the only bad thing so far, is if I do like you I get attached easily...scary? Well Im not crazy, so I wont stalk you (Kinda think'n you will.), just be waiting by the phone, so please if you respond have time for me, so my heart won't get broken again."

Who do you think the lucky fellow should be? Maybe a good match for Frustrated by Sorry, Nasty, Lying Women? She's not just after money and is "very, very honest" after all.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Stuff for Studs: Bacon!

Studs of Craigslist's newest feature is Stuff for Studs!

Occasionally we'll post about funny, strange, and ridiculous products we find around the web. 

In honor of International Bacon Day we bring you Bacon-aids. Wounds no longer have to suffer behind undignified tan band-aids anymore! You can purchase Bacon-aids through Amazon by clicking on the picture.

*Bacon-aids offer no additional benefit than looking kick-ass!  

Related Products: 

Bacon Board Game!

All products can be purchased through Amazon by clicking on the images!

*Studs of Craigslist is not responsible for fulfillment of orders and does not have any connection to retailers of the products.