Thursday, February 16, 2012

Smoking Hot Time

New Occasional Smoker says: "Bottom line: I am a new occasional smoker exploring a smoking fetish. I get off on smoking and watching beautiful women smoke (Mmm ok... Think you just get off on watching beautiful women doing anything).

I'm a 41yo attractive (Really? By what definition? Not swamp slime?), white-collar Italian and PuertoRican male, 5'11", 195 lbs, traditionally clean-cut, recently exploring a smoking fetish. I only smoke cigarillos (Cohiba Cuban Minis, Black and Mild Creme, Cherry, or Wine, experimenting with others), as I find them better smelling, tasting, and just plain sexier. I would love to get with a sexy lady smoker, share my smokes with her and light up together on my patio, and if the comfort level and chemistry are right, eventually take it from there with some mutual masturbation, oral, or more (Whoooaaa there cowboy,  if you're going to put your mouth on someone's junk, you might as well go for the "or more")

I love the sexual symbolism of women smoking: the idea of the cigarette as phallus, of the hot, white, thick, sinful smoke as cum, the guilty pleasure of it, the arousal even as one is engaging in a risky, dangerous activity (You don't get touched often do you?).

One reason I like the idea of women smoking cigarillos in particular, besides the better smell, is that their dark color is more suggestive of ethnic sex partners than regular cigarettes.

I am confident and in control. I am not afraid of addiction, and not, in fact, addicted. I have strong genes. My father quit cold turkey one day 30+ years ago and never looked back. No cancer. His father smoked cigars. No problems there. My grandfather on my mother's side started smoking in NYC when he was 8 and smoked well into his 80s and did not get any smoking-related cancers. My mother smokes and is still going strong with no real issues. (Ya know if we were actually buying into this crap and thinking "Yea, that's hot. Smoking fetish. Mmmm...." *air hump*. This paragraph here would really kill that. Just say'n)

This is all by way of explanation, but in the end, I don't want to intellectualize about it (Too friggin late. You already did) - I just want to get off on it (hate to be the bearer of bad news, but that's not gonna happen.)

I love thin/petite to average-sized ladies, open with regard to age, willing to consider many different types along these lines, but would be particularly delighted by Caucasian blondes or tan-skinned ladies. Good-girls or intellectual types looking for some dangerous adventure on the side are also very welcome. Too many tats or piercings are a turn-off (It's that damn higher risk of hepatitis. He may be living on the edge here with smoking and all, but he's no dummy...)- sorry. (I know saying something like that in the Seattle area is a crime, but then again I ain't from these parts anyways. Originally from NYC.) :)

Able to host at my comfy one-bedroom apartment in Renton Highlands, near Kennydale.

Clean, discreet, safe, D&D free, friendly, and oh yes, well-educated, so there will be no lack of conversational material as we're doing the deed, should you wish it. Otherwise, a quiet, relaxed smoke is also fine by me.

Drinks (coffee, tea, wine, vodka, etc.) provided as well (Mmmm, refreshments...on second thought).

If any of you sexy ladies are interested, please email me with the subject line ''Sexy Seattle Smoker'' so I can be reasonably confident you are not spam.

Please be aware that I don't like smoking in the apartment (Of course not. Again, living on the edge here, not jumping off it). All smoking would be on my patio. If we want to get it on out there, heightening the dangerous thrill, that can be arranged, otherwise, we're gonna snuff out and take our fun inside."

Has smoking really become so socially unacceptable that it has turned into a fetish? Having a hard time with that one. Hey, here's an idea. Stop being a pussy and go get yourself some shiny spandex or diapers. Now those are fetishes.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

5lbs lighter

"Oh yea, just took a dump in a public bathroom...looking slim...look'n fine....let me take my picture right now..."

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

good girl wanted

Where do you turn when you get dumped and don't have money for strippers to soothe your aching heart? Craigslist of course.

On the Rebound and Broke says: "hey ladies i am a very nice guy looking for a very nice girl. i just got out of a 3 year relationship my ex just up and left me heart broken i am looking to move on to so hit me up if intrested. p.s i am unemployed plz send pic"

Nice little "p.s." there. How long have you been unemployed? Should this nice girl have a job and not mind you mooching off of her?  


Thursday, February 2, 2012

You need to know the CODE

Someone took it upon themselves to "break the code" of CL lingo for you. Lucky day.

The Decoder says: "This is a public service announcment. Consider this your CL Rossetta Stone.
It can be used to decode the posts and response you will hear from guys in the Charlote area.
Let me know if it helps.

Woman love my tongue = I have a small dick so I compensate
I'm attractive = Girls at the strip club think I'm hot.
I'm very attractive = My secretary gave me a BJ at the Co Xmas party
I'm athletic = I played golf in HS 15 years ago.
I've got 8" of good lovin = Whatever they say, subtract 2"
I can't host = Married or GF with kids
Discreet = Meaning Varies (I'm married, I don't care if your married, or ur too ungly to be seen with)
Let's have sex in the car = I'm married and I'm cheap.
I'm mature = I know how to please a woman, (but sometimes I'm lazy).
Professional = I'm stressed out most of the time.
I'm young, hard & hot = Foreplay is for pussies
If there's no cock pics = He's confident you'll like it, when you see it.
If there's no body pics = He is way over weight. 300lbs<
NSA = NSA, don't get attached to the dick
I love to eat pussy = You must be shaved, clean and semi flexible.
I know how to please = You should be orgasmic, cause I can't raise the dead.
I like white BBW's = I'm African American
I want to hook up tonight = I just jerked off on the key board looking at your pic."

Thanks. This will be immensely helpful for all of those people who live under rocks....and have wifi.