Thursday, September 6, 2012

The High God of Mt. Olympus is searching for affection - 29 (The Westside)

And apparently he resides on the Westside. 

Zeus says: "Yes fair ladies of Portland, it is I, Zeus! Tremble with anticipation for I, the high God of Mt. Olympus am feeling randy! I have chosen Portland Oregon to be the city in which I sate my thirst for sweet mortal poon!

(Oh we're trembling! Just not with anticipation...)

I have been watching your city for many weeks now and I must say...nice. The city of Portland has more beautiful strong willed damsels than anywhere I have ever laid my godly eyes upon...even the Island of Lesbos, and those chicks are frickin' hardcore!

(When did Zeus become such an idiot?)

Lovely ladies of the Rose City, I do need your help however. Anyone who is familiar with my carousing antics knows that I change my shape in order to win over my intended bed-mate. Back in the day, this was easy. Oh, your village has a drought? Here, I'll change into rain. You don't die, and I get you wet (hey-oh). Oh, you're poor, guess what, I'm now lots of falling coins. She was nasty, really liked those golden showers (hey-oh). Oh, you like birds? Well BOOM, I'm a swan. Wait you like birds like that!?? Eww... By the way, Leda was gross.

What I'm getting at fair women of P-town, is I am at a loss of what to transform into to win your affection. Please respond with what you think I should appear as and I will. . .for you!"

How about an eco friendly tampon? Have a feeling that's the only way you're going to get near any "poon". 


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