Tuesday, November 15, 2011

2 Pair!

Found a "rip-roarious" ad for your reading pleasure today.

TNCRCG says: "I'm not talking about poker, either. Or a double date. I'm talking about pants. Wear 2 pair. More on that later.

Hi. You can call me TNCRCG. That's "Totally Not Creepy Random Craigslist Guy" to the less savvy. I'll settle for RCG for short. Or TNC. Sounds like of like TNT. Dyno-mite!

People don't say "dyno-mite!" enough anymore. That's it... I'm bringing it back. Single handedly.

On the topic of phrases, why do people do things "single handedly?" I have 2 functional hands and most things that I want to get done correctly utilizes both of them. Maybe it originates from back in the day when people would duel with swords, they only used 1 hand to handle the sword? I'm not sure... but I just added "learn to duel with a sword" to my bucket list.

I don't have a bucket list in the traditional sense... by that I mean that it's not a list of things I want to do before I kick the bucket, but actually a list of things that I want to do that is written on a bucket. I didn't have any paper and I wasn't really using the bucket for anything so one thing lead to another.......

Topic switch! The holidays are right around the corner... how do you feel about that? Go ahead, say it out loud, I'll hear you... because I'm watching you right now. Well fuck, I guess I can take the "TNC" out of "TNCRCG." Or even just take the "N" out and make it "TCRCG." You could almost say that out loud now. I may get that as a custom license plate for my truck... who needs vowels? A E I O U sometimes Y and even less of the time C, I say.

Back to the holidays. I really like them, personally, but let me break from the trend I've set so far in this post for just a second and admit that they can get a little lonely at times. I love my family to death but as we all get older it's turning into more of a clan of smaller little families that make one big group and the days of everyone getting together at the same time I feel are past us now, so I figure it might be a pleasant change of pace to not spend the majority of the holiday season doing the exact same things I do when it isn't holiday season. That's where you come in. No really, come on in, I don't lock my doors. Hook a brother up and bring me a Sunkist when you go past the fridge, thanks!

You know I've lived on my own since the week I graduated high school and I've never purchased or put up a Christmas tree in my house? Sad, I know. THCRCG. Totally Hates Christmas Random Craigslist Guy right here. Or just Random Craigslist Guy that likes weed a lot. Because THC... get it... THC is in weed... and... oh fuck it I know I'm reaching now.

So, all that being said.. most of which could have gone without saying I'm sure... if you're still reading this rambling I reckon you should reply right quick and realize what a rip roaring cool dude RCG is. FUCK YES I LOVE ALLITERATION. (lol extra bonus points for fitting "rip roaring" into this post. Don't hate, congratulate!"


Really though, the amount of ornamental shrubs I adorne my home with aside, I'm a pretty upbeat fellow. I'd be down with meeting an equally upbeat lady to bebop around town with occasionally. This time of year I have a pretty rigid schedule of working 8-5 M-F and then spending Sat/Sun at the camp with the family but should you prove interesting enough I would gladly break that stellar (read: boring) routine to catch a movie, catch a meal, catch some fireflies... catch anything really. Except a disease.

I do like to hunt, fish, and camp. I also wear blue jeans and work boots most days out of the year and drive a pickem-up truck, but I would greatly appreciate it if I wasn't automatically dismissed as some hillbilly. Unless you're like a member of PETA or something in which case dismiss away because I hate you anyway you crazy ass. I may do a few country things but I'm missing a few key ones as well. I don't own a cowboy hat, or cowboy boots. I don't own or wear a belt buckle. I have all of my teeth and they're quite straight and intact (You must not be native to Lafayette). I don't live in a trailer park. I've never had any sort of illicit affair with any member of my family be it man woman or beast (That's a serious plus). I lean conservative but I'm a libertarian if you had to label me on a political spectrum. I believe in God but I'm not religious in the traditional sense... I don't even know if there is a word for that.

I read about a book a week, unless it's a particularly long book. I'd much rather chillax on the couch and read a few chapters than turn on the TV. In fact sense I started reading this series I haven't turned my TV on at all. I heard Game of Thrones was a really good show on HBO and found out it was based off of a series of books so I started reading it and yes, it is quite good. I've enjoyed reading for as long as I can remember since I learned how to read. Somewhere along the way I picked up a love of writing as well (can you tell? this post likely already trumps the second longest post on in this section by three fold so far). I occasionally wish I had the ambition to sit down and write something substantial... but I haven't found it yet. I even considered starting a blog since I've always gotten complimented on the way I word my viewpoint when I start to ramble about things (a la right now).

The great thing about writing down something rather than simply saying it is that you can phrase things in a way and use words that are simply out of place in normal day to day conversation. Perhaps I am simply not a skilled enough orator to pull it off, however. Who knows?

One last thing I want to touch on is something that I get comments on frequently so I feel it is important to mention is size. No... not that size, you perv. Basically it boils down to if you prefer more normal sized people or if you're interested in bopping around with someone who is 99.9% of the time the largest, most intimating, and sometimes described as "scary" person in the room. I don't mean morbidly obese, if that's what you're thinking. When someone who is huge in that manner walks into a room people are like "oh look at that poor bastard I hope I never get like that." When I meet people I get things like "how tall are you" and "where did you play football" and "you said your name was RCG? I'll make sure to remember that next time I get into a bar fight" and "that is a mountain of a man right there" and once from my father I got "damn son, I wanted you to grow up big and strong but I expected you to stop eventually." If random people come up to address me who don't know my name I frequently get called "big man" and if one of my co-workers needs to direct someone to speak to me they say "you need to go talk to the really big guy over there." My mother says she likes going to crowded places with me because everyone moves out of my way and she can just follow in the hole that I make, lol. I'm frequently compared to farm animals... most often oxen or mules.

However, intimidating as I may be I'm usually the most gentle and friendly person people know. One friend was heard saying "I used to be scared of RCG until I heard him talking about how adorable some puppies were and saw him playing with his nephew. He's harmless!" It is what it is. I learned as a teenager to control the temper that I very much have because if I lose it people and/or things get broken and/or hurt, lol.

That's like 2 solid paragraphs about that now... I think that's sufficient. Probably more than sufficient... but if I do anything well it's type. Fingers just flying across the keyboard over here while this cigarette burns down in the ashtray and I'm not even sure what's being said. If this post lands me in court I'll deny it all!

For real though, I find myself frequently bored these days and I need someone equally bored to spend a little quality time with. Maybe go look at some Christmas lights in a few weeks for kicks or something equally childish. I do enjoy childish things... so if you'll pardon me I've got a LEGO castle that is in dire need of a moat.

Put "rip roaring" or "lego moat" in your e-mail so I know you're for real. Choose wisely, which phrase you pick says a lot about you!

OH YEAH! 2 pair! Wear 2 pair of pants cause I'll charm the first pair right off ya and then you wouldn't be decent :D "


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