Afterwards when he doesn't return your calls, texts, or emails it'll be because his sick grandmother was attacked by squirrel monkeys while fervently seeking out a cure for textaphrenia in Tibet. He forgot his phone in the haste of packing to be by dear granny's side and the closest internet connection is a three week hike through the scorching heat of a desert riddled with giant poisonous scorpions....Not because it was a one night stand. It's true, we swear.
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