Tuesday, September 13, 2011

seriously looking

Tells It How It Is says: "I'm a 45 yr. old man looking for a woman who will clean my house , wash my clothes and cook my dinner in exchange for sex. Ha ha. Just joking."

Wow...That's actually the most accurate description of marriage we've ever heard. Maybe the divorce rate wouldn't be so high if wedding vows were more honest.

Traditional Vows-AKA BS

I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part

Wedding Vows- Updated 9/13/2011

Will you cook, clean, and have sex with me?

*Under the new vows women will now only say "I do".  Why are no vows exchanged by women you wonder? Because men will not be subjected to any expectations and by entering this union you explicitly express your understanding in this matter.

Tells It How It Is also says: "Actually (Noo...you're looking for what you initially said. You're not fooling anyone.) I'm looking for a woman who is honest , around my age, ready to settle down, smoking and drinking is fine because I do both. I love sports , fishing , classic rock , new rock , movies , I have 2 dogs , I love cats but I don't think I could eat a whole one. I believe P.E.T.A. should stand for People Eating Tasty Animals. That's me in a nutshell. If you would like to talk or meet send me a message. I'm not the best looking man out there but I'm faithful , honest, trustworthy, dependable, and if I fall in love ,you will know it and feel it every day. Let's talk..............."

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