Thursday, September 8, 2011

YOU be the WOMAN -- I'll be the MAN - 46

See Can Read and Doesn't Post Pictures of His Junk it is not only women making bulleted posts of unrealistic demands... This guy wants someone who plays tennis, hunts quail, likes both of her parents, and speaks another language. He even specified preferred countries of origin.

Most women just want a guy that has a stable job, no addictions, and won't sleep with her sister. Jeez...

Edward says:
- if you wear a skirt occasionally
- if you like getting your feet rubbed
- if you will drive us home from the party if I get tipsy
- if you don't mind getting dressed up from time to time
- if you have some opinions of your own
- if you read an occasional book
- if you don't mind my leaving the seat up sometimes
- if you love children
- if you love dogs
- if it's you and me versus the world
- if you love to cook
- if you like your father at least as much as your mother even if you don't call him as much
- if you are kinda Catholic or Orthodox -- or were raised with a nodding familiarity with either one
- if you are from South or Central America somewhere, or
- if you are from southern Europe or the Middle East
- if you speak more than one language
- if you have dark hair or very dark hair
- if you might consider doing something adventurous in bed ;-)
- if you can yell and scream about something, then forget it forever
- if you'd rather stay in than eat out
- if there is some place you're dying to try
- if you would consider camping
- if you will cook the meat I bring home
- if you smile
- if you are kind to strangers
- if you tear up at sentimental movies
- if you would consider doing what it takes to loose a few pounds
- if you like squash or tennis -- or another sport at while you are good
- if you can ride a bike or paddle a canoe and wouldn't mind doing it again
- if you can hunt quail or pheasant -- or even grouse
- if you can handle a night together if the power goes out
- if you need a man in your life who is not afraid to be a man
- if you have a million qualities I can't think of to list right now, but which will be a delight to discover

Hi -- I am a real man who does real man kinds of things; I live in Orange County and I work in New York in a branch of finance. I go to the office at least three times a week and I have a small boy from a prior relationship whom I love dearly. (He lives in Bergen County.) I look after my own and I don't care for whining. I am not "a sensitive new age guy" -- but I am not a pig either.

If you think that some of the things from the list above might describe you, I want to hear from you. I want children and I want a woman who is sensible enough to want children and a woman who is still young enough to have a couple.

Picture replies go to the front of the line. (It's only fair.) Pictures aren't everything though -- intelligence matters too (Don't worry with criteria like his the line won't be long).

I wasted too much time in New York City and it's time to catch up. Let's go. I am looking forward to hearing from you.


Edward is doing a wonderful job of looking like a pompous-ass in this last picture.

1 comment:

  1. Oh God... this is literally screaming at me for a full rewrite LOL